I don’t know exactly how to say what’s been happening in my life lately, except this: spiritual darkness has lifted from my heart and mind, and I am able to rebuke the enemy when I start feeling discouraged or anxious. I’ve learned so much these past several months about spiritual warfare and deliverance. But I think the most beautiful aspect of God’s mercy is that Our Lady has been so instrumental in my healing.
During Lent, I was introduced to an exorcist named Fr. Chad Ripperger. He gives talks on YouTube and does parish missions all over the country. What I learned pertained specifically to the way I’d been living for decades: in fear, shackled by some invisible force I never could identify. Because this had been oppressing me for so long, I accepted it as part of my own personality. It had become familiar to me.
Then I began praying daily to Our Lady of Sorrows. I asked her to help me see what my primary defect was and how to root it out in my life. Then I asked her to help me see truth and live in it, dispelling the lies and darkness from my life. Shortly thereafter, she answered my prayer. I saw who I was – a beloved daughter of God – and noticed the lies creeping in my psyche were coming from the enemy.
Because I had purchased the Deliverance Prayers for the Laity book by Fr. Ripperger, I started praying the Prayer Against Oppression and Prayer Against Generational Spirits every day. About three weeks after I incorporated this into my daily devotions, I literally felt something lift. It was as if this burden I’d been carrying, this heaviness, was just gone. It broke, and it was palpable.
I looked at patterns in my life, and I noticed for the first time that I’d always lived under this black cloud of fear. Fear had been the guiding force in my life. It dictated to me from a young age what I wouldn’t do, couldn’t do, was unworthy of doing. It held me back from experiencing true inner freedom and peace in the Lord.
Not only that, but nearly all of my relationships, both personal and professional, had been severely affected by misunderstanding, betrayal, slander, and lies. I began writing down every person in my life, from childhood to the present day, on a sheet of paper and prayed to forgive each one of them by name. Once again, it was as if the floodgates of God’s mercy opened up, and I saw more and more areas of my life that needed healing.
Much of this was what prompted me to study the virtue of fortitude. Fr. Ripperger explains that, in order to combat our primary defect (and mine is fear), we have to also foster its opposite virtue (in my case, fortitude). There is so much deep work involved in this, but it is worth every intense moment. I say this as a woman who is able to tackle the ordinary obstacles of family life, as well as the truly troubling times, with greater hope and strength.
In the past, I would always buckle under fear. I’d cave to discouragement and fall into a dark depressive state for a brief period of time. Now, the discouragement is not as intense, and I know how to do battle with it in the mind. As a result, I’m better equipped to cooperate with God’s grace in getting through the struggles and trials with greater hope and trust in Him.
I share this with you, because I want you to know that you are not alone. Your particular struggles can be fought with the spiritual weapons available: Holy Mass, the Rosary, Eucharistic Adoration, Confession, and – yet – deliverance prayers. I encourage you to check out Fr. Ripperger’s work. Get acquainted with some of his talks. Read his books. Don’t be afraid to begin your journey of spiritual healing of wounds by way of praying specific prayers approved by the Church for the laity.
There’s so much more that God wants to give you.